MCA, Apartment #2, Monday Evening

[stickitupmyjinx]

With her first class out of the way, Vanessa was working on unpacking her stuff and putting it away in her and Wade's new apartment. There was just one problem: there seemed to be an awful lot of the former tenant's stuff still around. Sure, it had been rented furnished, but she'd just found a drawer that still had socks in it, along with...

"Wade? What's a normal number of fake IDs?"

((For the fiance.))

Comments

[captainskullpoopl]

"Four," Wade replied from his spot collapsed on the couch. "Why, do you need more? We can get more. I mean, Weasel can get more."

[stickitupmyjinx]

"No, I'm good," Vanessa assured him as she wandered into the living room, still flipping through the cache she'd discovered. "I just don't really know how many is normal for normal people. The guy who moved out left six. And a bunch of his socks. They're really good, too."

[captainskullpoopl]

Oh, like he could answer for normal people, Vanessa.

"The socks? Because I can always use new socks."

[stickitupmyjinx]

"They're like dollar store socks, but you can have them, I guess," Vanessa said.

Sorry, Brian.

"No, look at these, they're like...real-looking." She handed him a couple of the fake IDs. "Brian Michael Callahan or Brian Earl Spilner or whoever definitely had the hookup." She sat down on the couch next to Wade and added, "And a pretty nice face."

[captainskullpoopl]

"Are you ogling the guy whose apartment we stole?" Wade asked, holding his arm out to get his damn cuddle on as he looked them over. "Cop. Heeee's a cop. The most twink looking cop I've ever seen, Jesus Christ look at him."

A beat.


"Though this name is pretty serial killer."

[stickitupmyjinx]

"Oh, ew," Vanessa said as she settled in to cuddle. "Ew, I don't want to ogle a cop." Even if he was pretty twinky.

A beat.

"Wait, we stole a cop's apartment?"

[captainskullpoopl]

"Pretty bad cop if we haven't been arrested yet," Wade replied. And then laughed at the thought. "Maybe he was corrupt. Like Jennifer Lopez."

What, he liked that show. She had moxy.

[stickitupmyjinx]

"Maybe we can bribe him if he comes back," Vanessa mused. "Give him some doughnuts or something to find another apartment."

[captainskullpoopl]

"Oooh, we can pretend he never lived here to begin with until he slowly cracks under the pressure of his shattered psyche." Wade, no. Seriously no. "And then let him know we're keeping the socks."

[stickitupmyjinx]

Vanessa thought about it for a long moment before deciding, "I like it."

What? The guy was a cop!

[captainskullpoopl]

Poor, poor Brian.

"We could probably make some money selling these IDs too." Because weddings weren't cheap.

[stickitupmyjinx]

"All we need are some twinky blonds, and there's gotta be plenty of those in Baltimore," Vanessa mused. "Or servicing Republican politicians down in DC."

[captainskullpoopl]

Okay, that was a good idea.

"Oh, those closeted old men," Wade said with a sigh. "Making laws and diddling interns. Just like the founding fathers."

[stickitupmyjinx]

"Ah, traditions. I bet they pay well," Vanessa said thoughtfully. "All that super-PAC money."

[captainskullpoopl]

"Yeah, but at what cost? Sure, you get all the disgusting cash, power, free food, feeling that you're so untouchable that you could make a game of running down homeless people with your Mercedes..." That all sounded pretty nice, actually. "Where was I going with this?"

[stickitupmyjinx]

"Republicans bad," Vanessa said. "I think. I got distracted by how blue Serial Killer Brian's eyes are." Sorry.

[captainskullpoopl]

Wade snatched the ID away. "No. No falling for the pretty blonde who probably has to go be a reckless cowboy cop, living on the edge."

[stickitupmyjinx]

"Are you kidding me, did you see how much hair gel he uses?" Vanessa tried to snatch the ID back. "I could never!" She had standards.

[captainskullpoopl]

"Nope!" Now he was just forced to stretch his arms over his head so she couldn't get to it. "No overly gelled man meat for you!"

[stickitupmyjinx]

Oh, yeah? "I'm hiding your Golden Girls DVDs!"